Kansas City therapists offer ways to cope with family stress during the holidays – Update Kansas

Things can quickly turn from the best of times to the worst when people get together with family under one roof this holiday season. You’ve seen the comedies. A family reunion goes from great to terrible. But just a few small changes on your part can make a big difference.” Thanksgiving, a football game with neighbors in Illinois. We visited some family, like our family versus them, and my dad is 6-foot-4, 280 pounds, and my dad let loose into a guy who was probably 70 years old,” said therapist Michael Shahan. Shahan shared one of those surreal family reunion moments. Spills happen, crazy things are said, feelings can get hurt.” You accept things as they are and know what you can and cannot control. You cannot make your parents different. You can’t make your siblings different,” Shahan said. He said to control you. Your thoughts produce real feelings, so breathe.” When you exhale for twice as long, it actually spits out more calming hormones, which is a great simple trick,” he said. Two seconds in and four seconds gone.” excuse yourself, maybe go to another room and take a deep breath, maybe go for a walk,” said therapist Valerie Hamaker. Hamaker of the Latter Day Struggles podcast said that everyone’s emotional intelligence is different. Rather than being critical, be curious. “You don’t have to go in and change people, fix people, convince people that they can let people be who they are,” Hamaker said. If you need to, set boundaries about how much time you spend with whom, then ask questions to discover their world. “I really think it’s so relationally mature to be curious,” Hamaker said. She said that relationships bring you the most joy and growth. therapists. They say everyone struggles with family and that’s normal. If you need help, they say to reach out to someone.

Things can quickly turn from the best of times to the worst when people get together with family under one roof this holiday season.

You’ve seen the comedies. A family reunion goes from great to terrible. But just a few small changes on your part can make all the difference.

“Thanksgiving, a football game with the neighbors in Illinois. We visited some family, like our family versus them, and my dad is 6-foot-4, 280 pounds, and my dad tackled a guy who was probably in his 70s.” Therapist Michael Shahan said.

Shahan shared one of those surreal moments from the family reunion. Spills happen, crazy things are said, feelings can be hurt.

“Accepting things as they are and knowing what you can and can’t control. You can’t change your parents. You can’t change your siblings,” Shahan said.

He said to control you. Your thoughts create real feelings, so breathe.

“When you spend twice as long exhaling, it actually spits out more calming hormones, which is a great simple trick,” he said.

Two seconds in, then four seconds out.

“Maybe you apologize, maybe you go to another room and take a deep breath, maybe you go for a walk,” said therapist Valerie Hamaker.

Hamaker of the Latter Day Struggles podcast said that everyone’s emotional intelligence is different. Rather than being critical, be curious.

“You don’t have to go in and change people, fix people, convince people that they can let people be who they are,” Hamaker said.

If you need to, set limits on how much time you spend with whom, and then ask questions to discover their world.

“I really think it’s so relationally mature to be curious,” Hamaker said.

She said that relationships bring you the most joy and growth.

Holiday coaching is common for therapists. They say everyone struggles with family and that’s normal. If you need help, they say to reach out to someone.

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